Have you ever found yourself walking into your favorite coffee shop, only to be met with an unenthusiastic barista rolling their eyes at your special order? Or perhaps you've experienced the disappointment of being passed over for a promotion at work, or felt the sting of a fellow hiker ignoring your friendly nod on a favorite trail. Even the smallest encounters can sometimes knock our mood off-kilter.

Adding fuel to the fire are those politically charged discussions that don't resonate with your views, or the weather playing truant, being too hot or too cold for your comfort. It's easy to think that our emotional state is a direct result of these external triggers, but here's a fresh perspective: the emotions you feel are actually generated from within you.

Let's be clear. The icy demeanor of the barista might have poked something dormant within you, but it did not create the emotion. That feeling was already there, waiting to be awakened. Here's how.

Imagine yourself as a child. Perhaps there was an instance when an older sibling or a classmate dismissed you with a roll of their eyes. You felt insignificant, didn't you? Fast forward to the present day, when a stranger triggers those same feelings. While you may not consciously connect the two events, your body does. It remembers how it felt back then, and reacts in a similar fashion.

The immediate aftermath could be feelings of embarrassment or anger. You might even fantasize, for a fleeting moment, about throwing your hot coffee at the barista. But instead, you leave the coffee shop in a huff. The rest of your day feels ruined, while the barista likely moves on without a second thought.

The world, as we know it, will always have dismissive baristas, career hurdles, and political disagreements. What's more, we tend to carry our emotional patterns wherever we go, like silent companions. These patterns seep into our closest relationships, adding complexity to how we manage our emotions.

Consider your partner who adores mountain climbing. You, on the other hand, have a phobia of heights. The mere thought of them high up on a mountain sends your anxiety into overdrive. You ask them to call you as soon as they reach the summit, believing that will alleviate your anxiety. While this might seem like a reasonable request, if your emotional well-being hinges entirely on that phone call, you are offloading your emotional responsibility onto them. This is neither healthy nor sustainable.

Ultimately, you are the one in control of your emotions. You cannot place blame on others or on external factors. For example, if you're allergic to cats, you wouldn't blame the cats for your sneezing if you chose to become a cat sitter. Clearly, that wouldn't be the right career choice for you.

If this resonates with you and you're interested in learning how to manage your emotional triggers in a way that aligns with your true self, consider exploring my Inner Foundation Series contemplative training program. You can also sign up for my upcoming free webinars on topics such as mindful visioning and how to access your intuition. All the details can be found in my free email newsletter.

Remember, you don't have to be stuck with emotional patterns you didn't consciously choose. Here's to you taking control of your emotional destiny. I look forward to connecting with you in my next blog post. Until then, have a wonderful day!