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Intellectualization is a defense mechanism in which we use our mind to try to keep ourselves from having to experience uncomfortable emotions. It's a kind of emotional suppression where we try to use the mind to analyze an emotion, understand why we're having the emotion, and then try to think of a way in which we don't have to experience the emotion anymore.

However, when we focus on what we don't want, we actually feed what we don't want with more energy and actually end up cr…

I would say one of the harder lessons I've learned in life is that we live in a world where people often like to commit to things - but frequently don't follow through. They break their commitments. Whether it's something small like a lunch date or going to the gym - to something bigger like starting a new goal or pursuing a new business idea. As someone that likes to trust people and take them at their face value, I've learned the hard way that people often just aren't able to kee…

There are some days as a kung fu and tai chi teacher where I don't feel inspired or motivated to teach. But I show up anyway. And, inevitably, within a short period of time, I begin to feel motivated.

Through my years of teaching, I've had my fair share of students who use the excuse of feeling uninspired or unmotivated, as a reason why they can't make it to class. Or why they feel like they need to take a step back from their training.

And typically, they don't necessarily s…

I know a lot of HSPs that need to take frequent breaks from social media due to feelings of overwhelm and overstimulation. While I definitely encourage this if needed, I feel it's an invitation to explore deeper - as far as our relationship to social media itself.⁣
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Taking breaks could be seen as more of a self-soothing technique - more of a band-aid solution. Similar to when people temporarily delete social media apps from their phone.⁣
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They may feel better. But why? What is …

Many of us can sometimes feel like we have a very antagonistic relationship with time.

We often feel like there's not enough of it. That there's so much that we want to do each day - that we start developing a kind of scarcity mindset. It can feel like time is always going by too fast - and that we're always behind on whatever projects we're working on. Or that we don't have the time to properly take care of ourselves or to exercise. It can also feel like we don't have enough time…

Are you firm with yourself? Or are you gentle with yourself?

Well, for personal growth and things like productivity - you really need both. But you need to know when is the right time to apply one over the other.

I believe that we must be firm about showing up - but be gentle about the outcome.

Many of us have goals or other aspirations we want to achieve or manifest in our lives. Oftentimes these don't have external deadlines. Meaning, deadlines that are imposed upon us…

The pleasure principle is a term originally used by Sigmund Freud to characterize the tendency of people to seek pleasure and avoid pain. We naturally want to go away from pain, and in the direction of pleasure. In fact, for many people, their lives become entirely controlled by avoiding pain. They may live their whole life trying to avoid what they don't want.

Now, trying to avoid pain is very different than going in the direction of pleasure - or what we DO want. For example…

All of you have experienced inner peace at times in life. Even if they were for brief or short-lived periods. So if I asked you to imagine what inner peace feels like - some part of you would know what I'm pointing to. A big part of our personal growth path is learning how to access this feeling without being dependent on factors external to ourselves.

For example, if our inner peace is dependent on needing someone to behave in certain ways towards us - we will only be able to…

Some people have the idea that, if you're following your heart, or that you're living with purpose - life will always be fun and easy, or that you will always feel good.

This is not something I've personally experienced to be true. I believe all things come with a drawback or downside. It's like yin and yang - all positive things also come with a negative side.

Yes, we all want to feel good. We all want to be happy and at peace within ourselves and with others. In fact, I b…

In this blog post, I talk about how positivity can become toxic when we try to use it to deny or suppress our authentic emotions and experiences around a challenging situation.

We frequently see this on social media where influencers promote messaging such as "good vibes only" or "everything happens for a reason."

We're often led to believe that anything less than being happy all the time means that we've somehow failed at life. That our life doesn't measure up to what we s…